For so many years when I had a problem (real or perceived), I'd look to the 'experts' for the answers to solve the challenge. Most of my life I've identified through the physical so I'd invest in the next best idea or program to be healthy, strong, flexible, better! I'd buy the DVDs, the Cds, books or take the course to follow the regimented 'how to' program.
Let's see – HOW TO
- lose weight – get stronger – get flexible – get in shape – get a tight butt
- get rich
- get the perfect partner
- manage relationships
- get the perfect job
- stay young
- find peace & enlightenment
- on & on it went... I bet you can name several.
I needed concrete step by step instructions on how to resolve the crisis or improve my life in some way. Once I had the 'how to', I could do it, fix it, move on and be HAPPY – or so I thought.
To paraphrase Brene Brown, 'if how to programs fully worked, we'd all be happy'.
I chuckle now as I write that. Yes some avoidance – naivete - and the attitude of 'give me something to do', lead me and through the physical steps I would feel better – for a while. This way of approaching my life took me down so many rabbit holes but also, taught me so much about myself and my life.
Following many of those paths eventually lead me to yoga, meditation, amazing friends and community which has been a turning point for me. I'm not saying that practical steps combined with heartfelt resonance can't work but they must be combined in my opinion. Most of the shift is the inner work – living authentically by developing a relationship with our Self. Once we begin this work, we can lean in – discern – and use the 'how to' advice to improve and enhance those aspects of our lives that we wish to change.
I believe that not one perfect 'how to' program exists for any of us if we don't do the required inner work to compliment the process. I'd love to hear your thoughts...