Freedom

If you were to ask me the most important aspect of my life – what means so much to me at this time – it would be FREEDOM.
 
Although I've known intuitively that personal freedom has always been important to me, I didn't realize that this aspect of my personality was 'not negotiable'.   In fact, a lack of freedom is definitely my Kryptonite.
 
In my life, as I came to a realization that I wasn't happy – happy in a job, a relationship, a situation – whatever it was - I would initiate behaviours and patterns to get out and get away from that circumstance.  This was not at a conscious level for most of my life.  I also could not name why I was unhappy or unfulfilled in those circumstances.  I just knew I felt contained or smothered and it wasn't right for me anymore.  I needed out.
 
I remember having a boyfriend/partner who was incredibly amazing and we had a wonderful relationship.  After several years together, he started to talk about marriage and children.  It scared me and all I could feel was to flee.  I had a sense of loosing my freedom and being locked into something that I didn't want at that time.  So, I created dissonance in that relationship to justify leaving it.  It didn't make sense to me except to know that I needed out. 
 
In the last few years, as I grow, heal and know myself better, I am understanding a lot more about why I did what I did and having more compassion for myself about how I did what I did.  I now recognize the paramount importance of personal freedom to me.  So much of my life makes more sense to me now.  I have greater awareness around my patterns and a loving understanding of how to address this primal need with my lifestyle and my life.
 
Freedom is my 'soul food'.  It means the ability to do what I want to do when I want to do it (or at least be able to plan for it); to not feel tethered and held back by the density of fear and limiting circumstances. 
 
I need Freedom to: Travel; Teach; Learn; Question; Grow; Create; Believe; Love; See; Change; Speak Up; Stand Up; Agree or Disagree; Be Still; Be Silent; Move; Plan; Choose; Come and Go; To Be Me; To say 'yes' and 'no'.  Freedom to be human and make mistakes.
 
What matters most to you?  I'd love to hear what your Krytonite is?

Misty Lucas